Parental Alienation Syndrome by Monika

Despite vast educational efforts made in favor of positive co-parenting, many divorces fail to end on favorable terms. The stanch reality is that post-divorce conflicts continue for years after a divorce is finalized, with children embattled in the middle. Establishing and successfully exercising affective and informed methods to aid this next generation is undoubtedly, the single most important issue facing the counseling profession. As counselors, we must move beyond the simple acknowledgment of these conflicts.

Currently, the court system favors ill-fated co-parenting in many cases. Arguably, there are many divorced couples capable of effectively co-parenting. Unfortunately, many divorces involve relentless long-term parental conflict leading to psychological distress. Without therapeutic interventions, the children may succumb to life-long damaging effects. Adults are also not immune and may display various idiosyncratic manifestations of unresolved anger and hurt from prolonged conflicts.
The most disheartening outcome, of an unamicable divorce, is the possibility that the parent-child relationship may become temporarily or permanently severed. This adverse phenomenon is known as Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). The term was coined by Gardner (1985), who defined PAS as…a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a good, loving parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent. When true parental abuse and or neglect is present the child’s animosity may be justified, and so the Parental Alienation Syndrome diagnosis is not applicable” (p. 192 ¶ 3).

PAS can be mild, in which visitation with a child is difficult, or it may become severe, in which the child refuses to acknowledge one parent, eventually severing the relationship. Regrettably, counselors are divided over the existence of PAS. Part of the ongoing resistance, as noted by Baker (2006), may be because “skeptics hold the belief that a parent must have done something to warrant their child’s rejection and / or the other parent’s animosity” (p. 192 ¶ 3).With PAS, alienation is not based on the alienated parent’s actions. According to Warshak (2001), some parents doubt their ability to hold onto their children’s love. He notes that they are insecure and “to cope with their insecurity they try to drive a wedge between the children and the other parent” (p. 94). It is vital to remember the negative context that often comes with divorce. The alienating parent preys upon the fact that younger children can be credulous and older children can be lured with material gifts. It should also be considered, that the parent that is perpetuating the alienation has something to gain: an ongoing relationship with an ex-spouse for instance.

The acknowledgement and support of PAS research should be on the counseling forefront for numerous reasons. The failure to recognize the validity of PAS impedes the ability to effectively identify and work with affected children. Consequently, some counselors fail to recognize the legitimacy of a parent’s claim that an ex-spouse has “turned their child against them”. As a result, client’s anxieties are misunderstood and / or improperly diagnosed. In addition, many states court-order high conflict divorces into counseling; while counselors may not agree about the existence of PAS, most would acknowledge the existence of “poor mouthing”. Certainly, counselors recognize that poor mouthing the other parent to innocent children does not lead to optimal mental health, nor does it contribute to the development or safeguarding of positive parental relationships. Successful counselors must be equipped to deal with the intense emotions stemming from these issues.

Lastly, losing a child to PAS is psychologically devastating. Gardner (2002) considers…losing a child because of PAS to be more painful and psychologically devastating than the death of a child. A child’s death is final and there is absolutely no hope for reconciliation. Most bereaved parents ultimately resign themselves to this painful reality (p. 201 ¶ 2). With PAS, the post-divorce adjustment period may never end if these parents are repeatedly subjected to a roller coaster of emotional distress and injustice. As stated by Baker (2006), “The ongoing debate among professionals regarding the existence of PAS can contribute to the victimization of targeted parents who are not receiving the support from the legal and mental health communities that they desperately need” (p. 202 ¶ 1). If as counselors we fail to recognize the existence of PAS, then what profession should the innocent turn to, in order to express this justified grief?

References
Baker, A. (2006). The power of stories / stories about power: Why therapists and clients should read stories about the parental alienation syndrome. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 34 (191-203).
Gardner, R. (2002). Denial of the parental alienation syndrome also harms women. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 30 (191-202).
Warshak, R. (2001). Divorce Poison. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers Inc.